Do you invest a lot of energy in accommodating the desires of others? Do you ignore your own needs to satisfy those of others? Are you a submissive person? Let's explore the psychological traits of this profile.
Individuals with submissive personalities abandon their true desires to please others. They willingly submit to the authority and dominance of others and tend to trust those around them.
This approach to life events often makes them feel powerless and hinders their ability to make daily decisions, as they feel incapable. Their sense of life revolves around dependence and entrusting their will to others.
The lack of self-confidence leads them to relinquish their identity and desires in order to do things for others. Submissive individuals seek not to gain fulfillment by offering their lives to others, but rather to be accepted and loved.
In this article, we will explore the psychological traits that characterize the behavior and actions of a submissive personality.
Several psychological traits define a submissive person. Here are nine traits based on the study of personality by Millon and Davis (1998).
Low self-esteem
One of the main traits of submissive individuals is their lack of self-confidence. They tend to be cooperative, conformist, and non-assertive. They avoid being in the spotlight at all costs and are perceived by their circle of friends as caring, generous, and flattering. People around them are often impressed by their humility, friendliness, kindness, and gentleness. However, behind this affability lies a desire for approval. This need becomes evident in the face of stressful conditions, which they feel powerless against.
Their sentimental and sensitive nature can make them extremely conciliatory and self-sacrificing in interpersonal relationships.
Helplessness
Submissive individuals learn to bond with others by merging their identities with them, denying their differences, and avoiding expressions of power. By presenting themselves as defenseless and weak, they obtain the protection, care, and affection they seek.
They perceive themselves as defenseless and incapable, thus shying away from taking responsibility. They believe that others are better prepared to face the challenges and difficulties that life presents.
Naivety
Another characteristic of individuals with a submissive personality is their limited self-awareness and awareness of others. They are not very introspective about the problems surrounding them and tend to be naive and uncritical. Generally, they always see the beautiful or pleasant side of things.
Naivety leads them to be simple, innocent, and immature individuals. They believe what others tell them in order to avoid conflict, even if they feel unfairly treated.
Self-Devaluation
When feeling lonely, submissive individuals consider themselves weak and fragile. They tend to downplay their beliefs and achievements. When comparing themselves to others, they minimize their qualities and highlight their inferiority and flaws.
This pattern of self-hatred can be understood as a strategy to make others feel loved and appreciated. It puts them in a superior position that flatters others, seeking their approval.
Immaturity
Submissive or dependent individuals tend to have unsophisticated and somewhat childlike ideas. They are constantly driven to admire, love, and give their utmost, as they perceive it as the only way to obtain care and affection from others.
Due to their immaturity, the submissive personality has learned that they are inferior and that they can provide their "superiors" with a sense of usefulness, strength, understanding, and competence.
Introjection/Denial
The helplessness and incapacity of the submissive individual evoke feelings of emptiness and fear of loneliness. The defense mechanism they use to cope with these feelings is introjection.
Through introjection, they internalize the beliefs and values of other people. By aligning themselves with the identity and abilities of others, they avoid the anxiety of their helplessness.
Denial is another characteristic mechanism of individuals with a submissive personality, evident in the naivety of their thoughts. They always soften interpersonal discomfort and the resulting stress. They typically speak in a cloying manner to hide (or deny) any aggression.
Introversion and Shyness in Submissive Personality
Since submissive individuals suppress desires, feelings, and emotions to please others and gain their approval and protection, they often appear shy. They do so to avoid the conflicts that can arise from social relationships.
Emotional Dependence
Having a submissive personality, they seek a dominant person to provide them with a sense of responsibility. In many instances, they are emotionally dependent on authoritative figures in their lives.
Emotional dependence prevents them from being free and autonomous.
Lack of Assertiveness in Submissive Personality
The submissive personality does not express viewpoints, desires, and needs. Why? Because they believe that in doing so, they can avoid any conflict. This clearly shows a lack of assertiveness.
Conclusion
When a submissive personality causes distress, psychotherapeutic intervention becomes necessary. It is the first and perhaps most important step for the individual to begin trusting themselves and their abilities.
Likewise, they will learn to fulfill their needs and seek gratification without sacrificing their identity solely to please others.